Funny Parenting Quotes

If there's one thing parents deserve, it's a good laugh every now and then. These 18 parenting quotes are sure to put a smile on the faces of mums and dads everywhere.

"A truly appreciative child will break, lose, spoil, or fondle to death any really successful gift within a matter of minutes."

"The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable."

"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out."

"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope."


"Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own."

"A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm."

"In the little world in which children have their existence, whosoever brings them up, there is nothing so finely perceived and so finely felt as injustice."

"It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner."

"Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we've set aside enough money to pay for our kids' therapy."

"The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet."

"Mothers are all slightly insane."

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"

"Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare."

"Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth."

"Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes."

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For more funny quotes, check out the popular funny quotes section of Famous-Quotes-And-Quotations.com, a website that specialises in 'Top 10' lists of quotations in dozens of categories.

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